Only A Name

It's funny how something so simple can churn up so much emotion and remorse.

I had a dental appointment today, the good ol' six month scrape and polish. I anticipated that it would be a non event. It progressed that way until I was handed my health survey from a previous visit and was asked if everything was current. Instantaneously my eyes were drawn to the emergency contact information, probably because his name jumped out at me.

I was unprepared nor expecting the wave of emotion that washed over me from something so seemingly benign. I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my jaw, all the time talking to myself silently in my head that I wasn't going to give in to the tears building up inside. Why does something as simple as a dental health history form, up end my day?

I took the pen and lined through the name, beneath it I wrote in my parents. Part of me wishes that my own life change was that simple and painless. Line through the name, write a new one in, start fresh.

Instead I sit here, tears rolling down my face, writing in a blog, and wondering what other nondescript item will turn up to remind me of what will never be...