10:40 PM

Down To One

Lyrics and Music By Melissa Etheridge

What went right
What went wrong
Doesn't really matter much
When it's gone

Was it too hard to try
Was it too hard to lie
Did you just grow tired of hello and goodbye
Was it the naked truth that made you run
Where do I go now
That I'm down to one

Sooner or later
We all end up walking alone
I'm down to one
My heart is a traitor
It led me down this road
Now it's done
I'm down to one

I want to know where I failed
I want to know where I sinned
Cause I don't want to ever feel this way again
Was the wanting too deep
Did it block your sun
Where do I go now
That I'm down to one
What am I supposed to think

What am I gonna say
What did I ever know
About this love anyway

10:24 PM

Only A Name

It's funny how something so simple can churn up so much emotion and remorse.

I had a dental appointment today, the good ol' six month scrape and polish. I anticipated that it would be a non event. It progressed that way until I was handed my health survey from a previous visit and was asked if everything was current. Instantaneously my eyes were drawn to the emergency contact information, probably because his name jumped out at me.

I was unprepared nor expecting the wave of emotion that washed over me from something so seemingly benign. I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my jaw, all the time talking to myself silently in my head that I wasn't going to give in to the tears building up inside. Why does something as simple as a dental health history form, up end my day?

I took the pen and lined through the name, beneath it I wrote in my parents. Part of me wishes that my own life change was that simple and painless. Line through the name, write a new one in, start fresh.

Instead I sit here, tears rolling down my face, writing in a blog, and wondering what other nondescript item will turn up to remind me of what will never be...