10:24 PM

Only A Name

It's funny how something so simple can churn up so much emotion and remorse.

I had a dental appointment today, the good ol' six month scrape and polish. I anticipated that it would be a non event. It progressed that way until I was handed my health survey from a previous visit and was asked if everything was current. Instantaneously my eyes were drawn to the emergency contact information, probably because his name jumped out at me.

I was unprepared nor expecting the wave of emotion that washed over me from something so seemingly benign. I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my jaw, all the time talking to myself silently in my head that I wasn't going to give in to the tears building up inside. Why does something as simple as a dental health history form, up end my day?

I took the pen and lined through the name, beneath it I wrote in my parents. Part of me wishes that my own life change was that simple and painless. Line through the name, write a new one in, start fresh.

Instead I sit here, tears rolling down my face, writing in a blog, and wondering what other nondescript item will turn up to remind me of what will never be...


ShellyD said...

oh Honey!! {{huggles))

You have to get this man out of your system!! He did not deserve you and keep reminding yourself that you are so much better than him. You never know there could be someone so much better for you just around the corner!! Let this man go!!