8:14 PM

Do Opposites Attract?

I've been asking myself that question for the last couple of weeks now. Are opposite personalities really attracting or is it just a myth? I used to think that it was true. After all my husband was the complete opposite of myself. He is high energy, short tempered, work until the the cows come home. I'm slow and steady, with a long fuse, and work 'til my 8 hours for the day are done and then off on other things. He came from a doctor's family, I came from a small town mill worker's family.

I thought we complimented each other, blended together. I brought some balance to his life he brought some zing to mine.

Over the last few months, both of my boys have mentioned that they always wondered how we got along, because we both seemed so different. Obviously I didn't see it, or did I and just chose not to recognize it?

Therapy while helpful often exposes things you either didn't know or didn't want to know. I can say without a doubt that I loved my husband, but I can also now say that I put up with a lot of things because of the illusion that we were going to work it out, things would get better. I stayed put, because I held the belief that marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer, but in order for that to work, you both have to hold the same belief and you both have to work on improving it.

My therapist told me the other day that I could of walked on water, been the reincarnation of Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker all wrapped up into one, and it would of made not one iota of difference. I guess the good thing in all of this is I have no where to go but up. I can't help but feel regret and anger however for all the effort and time wasted.

I used to say if I had it all to do over again I wouldn't change a thing. I don't say that anymore.

2 comments:

Ramblings of a lunatic mom and lampworker said...

{{Hugs}} Angel! Sounds like you are slowly healing :))

Mich

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you are having to got through this. But not a complete waste...two fantastic sons. But the years came at a high price to you.

I'm glad you are realizing this is not your fault and getting your feet under you.
(((hugs)))
Kare