1:35 PM

Speechless

How is it that you can live with someone for 25 years, have life and death experiences, have two sons, and then sit across from the person they've shared that with and tell them you didn't really love them? Didn't love them then and didn't love them now, just tried to convince themselves they did.

The man I've shared my life with for the past 25 years did exactly that today. I'd like to sit here and write all sorts of thoughts and theories about what is going on, but I really don't know what to say. I'm empty, hurt, and feel like my heart has been torn from my chest.

I was told that I was unsupportive. That I didn't put him first. I must of missed something all those years and now I get to pay the price. A single parent and a single person at 47 years old. I get to spend the golden years of my life alone, not to mention looking at the smoking barrel of rheumotoid arthritis.

Yes, I'm feeling less than optimistic about my situation at this point. I've been torn down about as low as I can go and am pretty much speechless.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jodi,
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this and that it was done in such a painful way. You have two wonderful sons and friends who care a great deal about you.
(((hugs)))
Kare

Ramblings of a lunatic mom and lampworker said...

He doesn't and has never deserved you!! You are so much better than anything he says. You will never be alone...not as long as you have your sons and your friends!!

{{hugs}}

Capt Elaine Magliacane said...

{{{{Jodi}}}} This is really, really horrible, and you need to go thru the grieving... just like he'd died... might speed the process if you think of him as dead.. horrid slow deaths.. oh I digress... Do not despair... where there is life there is hope, I met my current husband at the age of 51 (he's my 4th husband)... Match.com is how we met and I do recommend it when you're ready to try again... there are good guys out there... and there's a way to find them now, that is MUCH easier than hanging out in singles bars... LOL...
Mich is right he OBVIOUSLY didn't appreciate you... you deserve to be happy... don't give up.