The Lemur Unmasked

I've never been one to say "Hey, look at me!" In fact, more times than not it has been just the opposite.

As a child and young adult, I was very shy. I grew up in the country and there were no children anywhere near, so I didn't quite know how to react when I went somewhere where there were kids.

Kids are very direct to the point of being mean with their comments. Couple that with the fact that I was an overweight child. The two together made a lot of my encounters when I did finally get with others my own age painful. I found myself growing up, pretty much sticking to myself. I had one or two close friends that I carried with me all through school, but was not a social butterfly in any sense of the word.

I've also never been what you'd call a typical female if there is such a thing. I don't live to shop, don't wear make-up, don't have my nails done. I enjoy fishing and camping. I more comfortable in jeans and a sweatshirt than a business suit.

I was so happy when I met my husband, because he accepted me as I was.

I have found however as an adult that I am in a lot ways the same as I was as a child. I tend to keep to myself. My friend base is still limited. I think part of me is afraid of being rejected because I'm fat or too plain or the list goes on and on.

If I let the rational adult in me step up, it would be saying why should you care? The people who are truly interested in you won't care whether you're fat or thin; wear jeans; or don't do typical female things. They'll like you because of what they can't see on the outside. Your wit, sincerity, and sometimes off beat sense of humor.

So although I worry about the children of my youth pointing out my flaws and making fun of me as adults, I'm going to move forward anyway.

I'm putting a face with the name, the writings, the nightly IM chats. Hopefully you'll be able to figure out which one I am.